Why does it always have to be about sex?

I%26#039;m 19, and i guess i%26#039;m rare for my age because i%26#039;m a virgin. I%26#039;m not conceited by any means and i%26#039;m not trying to brag, but i get hit on alot, especially since i entered college, and i been dating alot, but nothing ever last long once guys find out i%26#039;m a virgin. They label me a good two shoes, or something stupid. I can%26#039;t find one guy that will stay with me! This isn%26#039;t fair. I feel so alone because all my friends have boyfriends, but because i won%26#039;t give it up! My bf just broke up with me yesturday after six months b/c he said he%26#039;s not used to this. People keep telling me, hang in there, you%26#039;ll find someone one day, but there is NO ONE!! Guys are all JERKS! I shouldn%26#039;t have to give up something special to me because i want a bf. I promised my grandma i would wait til i%26#039;m married, and even though she%26#039;s passed, i still am going to keep the promise. I guess my question is why do guys just HAVE to have it?!

Why does it always have to be about sex?
They don%26#039;t %26quot;have%26quot; to have it, they%26#039;ve bought into the social lie that their genitalia will explode if they don%26#039;t get sex. (it won%26#039;t)





Guys reach their sexual peak in their teens, the reception you%26#039;re getting isn%26#039;t all that surprising.





If a guy is only dating you hoping for sex, you%26#039;re dating the wrong kind of guys.





I%26#039;m not saying this is easy, or not frustrating, but it%26#039;s worth the wait to find the right one.





There are decent guys out there that care about more than just sex, (tougher to find at your age, but there are exceptions)





Another idea, do you have to have a %26quot;boyfriend%26quot;, or would just friends work for you? Having close male friends is a natural way to find someone you%26#039;re interested in dating.


Just a thought..........








Luck





Negative feedback is great, am I getting this from horny teen males?
Reply:It%26#039;s the laws of nature. You have made the right decision for yourself and you should stick to what you believe in. Try dating outside of the college element.
Reply:Cuz they%26#039;re dumb, horny lil creatures.
Reply:Men have to unload on a regular basis. That is the nature of the beast.
Reply:stick to ur beliefs guys will respect u more. When ur a virgin, sex doesn%26#039;t go through ur mind but after u have sex it will always be in ur mind so just stay a virgin till u get married, ur husband will love u and respect u way more. U want a bf, its better being single cuz u can do watever u want.
Reply:I know how you feel. I%26#039;m also 19 and a virgin. I think you just gotta wait it out. I%26#039;m proud that I%26#039;m a virgin, it%26#039;s all a matter of principle. Don%26#039;t dwell on what some stupid guys could call you, like goodie two shoes.





You promised your grandma and you%26#039;re sticking to your principle. Most guys are all about sex and that%26#039;s all they want, but not ALL guys, there are the selected few who are perfectly fine with having a non-sexual relationship.





The right guy will come, with time.





And yes, I think when a guy has had it, he needs it, but then again it plays into how much he cares for you, because if he cared enough about you he would respect you and wait for you to be ready rather than break up with you because you won%26#039;t give him what he wants.





About your ex, he sounds like an insensitive jerk who had no respect for you, forget him, if he really cared and he saw you two in a strong relationship he could wait.





Hope my insight helps.
Reply:first off, you are 19 and not ready for marraige or anything that serious. that being said, if a guy really cared about you, he would respect your views on no sex before marraige and help you to uphold them. if a guy leaves you because you won%26#039;t put out, he%26#039;s not worth worrying over. he obviously doesn%26#039;t care about you, only getting off. someday you will meet someone who adores you and cheerishes the fact that you don%26#039;t have a gazzilion guys to compare him to.
Reply:if a guy is use to having sex in a relationship he expects sex in all future relationships.......its hard to abstain from sex if your use to having it...not even just for guys


its not really the virgin thing its the guys your dating


it could also be the way you go about break the news to the guys..... you really don%26#039;t have to tell them that your waiting for marriage just that you haven%26#039;t found the right person at 19 and even 20 most guys really are not thinking about marriage so if they date you and it were to last it would be years till they got any.........


but your young.....whats the rush for something to long term... if you date a lot now you can get to know a lot of different types of guys and maybe even one day you%26#039;ll end up back with one of these guys or even meet someone special thru them after you break up





i have friends that are still virgins and in there very early 20%26#039;s they aren%26#039;t waitting till marriage they just haven%26#039;t found the right people or been in anything that long term..... I was 19 never planned on waiting and i%26#039;m cool with it... but on principal i don%26#039;t meet guys at bars cause when they are drunk and hitting on girls thats all they want...right then....sometimes i do get numbers thought...... but not recently since i am in a 1 year relationships... but it pains me to see my friends get picked up in bars hook up and then fall for these one night stands and booty calls...cause i%26#039;d say it rarely has any chance of being anything more than that


try guys in the library or class or work or groups you are involved in or guys you meet thru friends...... also make some single friends
Reply:Well I know how u feel.Im 19 too. I had a huge thing where I wanted to be appreciated for more than just my body and refused to have sex with someone/anyone til I did. a yr ago i found that person and he waited a few months...so maybe he was worth it?. supposed unlike u i didnt want to wait til marriage. but i know where u are coming from. it is their primal instinct so dont hold it against them. or better yet find a guy who also wants to wait.
Reply:Ok, I%26#039;m probably gonna get flak for saying this but.... find a guy who is religious, and is serious about his faith.





I%26#039;m a Christian and most of my friends are as well. Almost all my friends from church, guys and girls, believe in abstinence until marriage. For us, it%26#039;s something we believe very strongly in because our faith is more important to us than our physical desires. I know none of my guy friends from church would make sex a focus of a relationship, and all would do their utmost to remain abstinent.


Certainly this is not true for EVERY guy who is Christian, but in general if you go for a guy who has a strong faith you%26#039;re more likely to find him focused on a personal relationship as opposed to a sexual relationship.


I know this is not limited to the Christian faith - but this is the faith where my personal experience lies.
Reply:I don%26#039;t know the guys you are talking to but they seem like a waste of time. Ever try meeting guys yourself instead of them approaching you? I%26#039;m pretty sure if you met them in a nice place and with good judgment you can grab a good guy. What are you complaining for? I%26#039;m 19 and I still have my Virginity. You%26#039;re not alone so stop feeling like a victim. I don%26#039;t have a boyfriend and frankly I don%26#039;t need one. Too much time and effort spent on a relationship when that could be spent loving and bettering yourself.


So work on what you want and what you need before entering the dating game. Boyfriends aren%26#039;t the end all and be all of life.


Believe me I know....


oh.. and for the guys that want some nookie... it%26#039;s college! C%26#039;MON! you know the game....
Reply:ohhh there are most definitely boys out there!!


i%26#039;m 17, almost 18, and the boy im not dating, though i am seeing, is turning 19.


we%26#039;re both virgins!not embarrassed at all!


sex is a gift you%26#039;re meant to give to the one person you love, and that in the end should be you%26#039;re marraige partner!


people always use it the wrong way! but in the end, who%26#039;s gonna enjoy it the most?





..i can%26#039;t wait till my wedding day..


but its true, boys who respect you for who you are are hard to find. so once you find him.. GET HIM!


and you will..


for sure!
Reply:Girl stick to your own beliefs!!!!!!! You should be proud to be a virgin! Guys do not need to have it, they just want it to satisfy themselves. They are just using you for their own gratification so such guys are just jerks. They are still good guys out there that respect you.
Reply:i dont know trust me hang in there if you need a friend im here for you
Reply:Well, to put it bluntly, we need it. Maybe not like a must have. But its a desire that all men wan%26#039;t to have at least once. And by men calling you a goody two shoes, they do it because they actually respect you, or they may actually have a strong attraction towards you.
Reply:Fact: One big reason why most relationships fail is because of a lousy or absent sex life. It sounds to me like you have inner issues that you need to deal with, you should talk to someone.





Also, if a guy doesn%26#039;t have sex with you at some point, then it will just be a friendship thing that will not go anywhere. Sex is a great thing, not something to be ridiculed.
Reply:I%26#039;m 20 and I%26#039;m still a virgin. Do I wish it wasn%26#039;t so, probably, but as long as my girlfriend cared about me, and we could still make out and try a few things, that%26#039;s all I would need.





Please don%26#039;t blame all guys, there%26#039;s a bunch of us nice guys out there just working out our issues so we can ask you out, it just scares us that you%26#039;ll say no because you%26#039;ve been with these jerks before.
Reply:i wish i knew.. they just cant help themselves i guess
Reply:Well, it goes across genders, but I know it does tend to be occur more often with men. A big reason for this is because we%26#039;re all brought up and encouraged to believe that sex is necessary to fulfill the needs of a true relationship. That%26#039;s a load of crap, but people have a problem using their own minds. We%26#039;re taught to accept everything we%26#039;re told as fact, without ever questioning it for ourselves. It%26#039;s pathetic. One big reason why more women don%26#039;t feel the %26quot;need%26quot; to have sex so soon is because there%26#039;s a double standard for them on this issue. If a girl is quick to have sex, he%26#039;s labeled negatively. If a male is quick to have sex, however, he%26#039;s labeled as manly and successful. We gotta get over merely doing as we%26#039;re told. We need to stop trying to be %26quot;accepted%26quot; by everybody else and live our own lives. Those who we try to impress are simply the way they are because they%26#039;re trying to impress, as well. It%26#039;s all fake. I%26#039;m glad you have a good mindset about the sex crap. It%26#039;s not a requirement of love. It can be a way to express love, but it will never define or strengthen love, as love is never physical.











Heath
Reply:Hey dear , firstly dont blame all the boys.Every guy is not of the same type. I%26#039;m 21 %26amp; i have a relation for the last 3 years. Still we both are virgin. So its not that every guy wants sex from his girlfriend. What i feel is that u r not giving urself enough time to think abt ur relationships. U think U desparetly want aguy,as all other friends have boyfriend . This hurriness leads to all trouble. What%26#039;s the problem if u dont hav a boyfriend. Guys have been hitting on u. I would suggest know a guy very well as a person, plz take ur time to decide %26amp; then get involved in a relationship. Just because he is nice looking or behaves nicely with u dont conclude anything abt him. See his attitude,behaviour towards others in total. Try to know something abt his past %26amp; then take ur decision whether to move on or not. Plz change ur opinion regarding the guys.
Reply:i myself as a guy have had this issue with my current gf guys who look for sex right away probli dont want anything else but if you look at it this way. your with a guy you trust him you love him yet you refuse to be with him in the one way (sad but true) he will want to be with you its kind of a slap in the face its werid would you believe a guy loved you is he never showed he cared? didnt spend lot of time with you? plan romantic things? the fact is you probli wouldnt be sure for a guy its like this %26quot;she loves me? yep she trusts me? yep well obv not or why wouldnt she want too? good for me good for her?%26quot; its a fact of life guys will want it and tbh im not saying you should but im saying it would take an extraordinary guy to honestly be with you for an extended period of time a quote say it best %26quot;woman need to feel loved to have sex.....men need to have sex to feel loved%26quot; so actally if thats true someone lied =/ yes call us vile call us sick but as far as im concered we dont jst want you you want us too so think about wat you are looking for.
Reply:i%26#039;m very proud of you. and there are guys that are virgins also, so just relax and enjoy life. that%26#039;s a good thing, and don%26#039;t listen to or be around people that want to put you down. just because your friends have bfs does not mean that they are happy. all smiles are not real. i was 21 when i lost my virginity, and i was so proud i saved myself and you should be proud too. it%26#039;s going to be ok you%26#039;ll see.
Reply:Maybe you just are not dating the right guys. Its hard to find a man with no sex parteners, or less than 3 sex parteners. But i would go to a place thats respects my values. like a church or maybe be friends for awhile so he can understand you will not give it up, until marriage.
Reply:im proud of you to be 19 and still a virgin! congrats!~
Reply:There are plenty of guys out there that want a respectful girl. Don%26#039;t be forced into doing anything you do not want to do. Just tell them up front how you feel, and that if they can not accept that, don%26#039;t waste your time.



Nanny